READING: between after midnight and sunrise of Thursday

Lesson on the topic of “Receiving and Giving a Gift”

Receiving and Giving a Gift – Selected Excerpts from the Sources

1. RABASH, Article No. 25 (1988), “What Is the Preparation on the Eve of Shabbat, in the Work?”

A gift is something we give specifically to those we love. The value of the gift is measured by the measure of love for that person, and by the importance of that person. Normally, one who wants to show his love to another, expresses it by giving a gift. According to the value of the gift, so appears the measure of love.

However, there is another value to a gift. If the sender is an important person, the love cannot be measured according to the gift, since with an important person, even a small gift is valuable. With an important person, the gift is measured by the importance and greatness of the giver.

2. RABASH, Article No. 22 (1987), “What Is the Gift that a Person Asks of the Creator?”

We ask the Creator to give us a free gift. The meaning is that we are asking the Creator to give us the ability to serve Him for free. In other words, the vessel of reception that a person receives is called “a free gift.”

Thus, what is the gift that one should ask the Creator to give him? We asked, How can one ask for presents, since it is known that you can ask for charity, but a gift? Who asks for gifts? Normally, we give gifts to those we love.

The answer is that since a person wants to love the Creator, and since the will to receive is the obstructor, a person asks for this gift called vessels of bestowal, where through this gift that he will receive from the Creator, a person will be rewarded with the love of the Creator and not with self-love. This is why it is called a “gift,” and this is what a person should ask.

3. RABASH, Article No. 22 (1987), “What Is the Gift that a Person Asks of the Creator?”

Concerning the request for the gift, the main point is the need for the matter. Through Torah and Mitzvot we receive a need, and through the need there is room to ask for this gift, regarded as Him giving us the Kli called “desire to bestow upon the Creator.”

It is written about it (Hagigah 7): “As I am for free, you are for free.” In other words, a person should exert to work in order to bestow and not want to receive any reward.

4. RABASH, Letter No. 22

Our sages said, “From Mattanah to Nahaliel.” The Torah is called Mattanah (gift). That is, the fact that a person is permitted to learn and pray, and observe Mitzvot even one minute a day, that, too, is a gift from the Creator, for there are several billions in the world to whom the Creator did not give the chance to be able to think of the Creator for even one minute a year. Therefore, while engaging in the Torah, one must be glad, for only through joy is one rewarded with drawing the light of Torah.

5. RABASH, Article No. 31 (1990), “What ‘There Is No Blessing in That Which Is Counted’ Means in the Work?”

When someone gives his friend a gift, he wants his friend to count and appreciate the value of the present for the simple reason that he gives the present to his friend because he wants to show his love for him. According to the value of the gift, a person can appreciate the measure of the love. It follows that if one does not look at the gift, to see the greatness of the gift, he blemishes the measure of the love.

Therefore, when a person receives a gift, if he does not see or does not try to see the importance of the gift, he blemishes the measure of love that the giver wants to show by it. For instance, our sages said, “Buy yourself a friend.” And that person wants to buy his friend by sending him gifts. If that person does not see or appreciate the greatness and importance of the gift that he receives from him, how can he come to a state of “Buy yourself a friend”? It follows that with the gift, one should count and measure what he has received from his friend.

6. RABASH, Letter No. 40

Each gift […] that he gives to his friend is like a bullet that makes a hollow in the stone. And although the first bullet only scratches the stone, when the second bullet hits the same place, it already makes a notch, and the third one makes a hole.

And through the bullets that he shoots repeatedly, the hole becomes a hollow in his friend’s heart of stone, where all the presents gather. And each gift becomes a spark of love until all the sparks of love accumulate in the hollow of the stony heart and become a flame.

The difference between a spark and a flame is that where there is love, there is open disclosure, meaning a disclosure to all the peoples that the fire of love is burning in him. And the fire of love burns all the transgressions one meets along the way.

7. RABASH, Letter No. 40

One gives a gift only to one that we know and recognize as someone we love. It follows that the aim of the gift is like gratitude for the love that his friend gives him. However, if one gives a gift to a stranger, meaning he doesn’t feel that his friend is close to his heart, then he has nothing to be grateful for. It follows that the aim is Lo Lishma, meaning … the intention that should be.

Ostensibly, it could be said that this is called “charity,” since he pities his friend when he sees that there is no one who is speaking to him and greets him, and this is why he does that to him. Indeed, there is a prayer for it—that the Creator will help him by making him feel the love of his friend and make his friend close to his heart. Thus, through the deeds, he is rewarded with the aim, as well.

8. RABASH, Article No. 25 (1988), “What Is the Preparation on the Eve of Shabbat, in the Work?”

Our sages said, “He who gives a gift to his friend must notify him.”

He does not have to notify him that he has sent him the gift, but also the value of the gift, since according to the value of the gift, so is the measure of the love revealed between them, since to the extent that the receiver is impressed by the gift, so is his measure of gratitude, and by this, the connection of love between them forms.

9. RABASH, Letter No. 40

A gift is determined as such when he knows that his friend will enjoy it, whether in words, in thought, or in action. However, each gift must be out in the open, so that his friend will know about it, and with thoughts, one does not know that his friend was thinking of him. Hence, words are required, too, meaning he should tell him that he is thinking of him and cares about him. And that, too, should be about what his friend loves, meaning what his friend likes. One who doesn’t like sweets, but pickles, cannot treat his friend to pickles, but specifically to sweets, since this is what his friend likes. And from that, we should understand that something could be unimportant to one, but more important than anything to another.

10. Baal HaSulam, Letter No. 2

I shall advise you to evoke within you fear of the coolness of the love between us. Although the intellect denies such a depiction, think for yourself—if there is a tactic by which to increase love and one does not increase it, that, too, is considered a flaw.

It is like a person who gives a great gift to his friend. The love that appears in his heart during the act is not like the love that remains in the heart after the fact. Rather, it gradually wanes each day until the blessing of the love can be entirely forgotten. Thus, the receiver of the gift must find a tactic every day to make it new in his eyes each day.

This is all our work—to display love between us, each and every day, just as upon receiving, meaning to increase and multiply the intellect with many additions to the core, until the additional blessings of now will be touching our senses like the essential gift at first. This requires great tactics, set up for the time of need.

11. RABASH, Article No. 24 (1986), “The Difference between Charity and Gift”

He who hates gifts will live.” It does not mean that he should not receive gifts. However, if he hates the gifts because he wants to work in order to bestow, therefore he hates being a receiver but receives the gifts because the Creator wants it. This is called “receiving in order to bestow,” since he would not awaken the Creator to give him luxuries. Rather, he is asking the Creator for necessity. And it makes no difference whether for another it is regarded as luxury, since each one works according to one’s own feeling, and does not mind what his friend has. If later the Creator gives him a gift, he receives it in order to bestow.

It follows that if a person asks the Creator to give him vessels of bestowal, it depends on a person’s character. That is, we can say that for one it is luxuries and for another it is necessity.

12. RABASH, Article No. 348, “When the Creator Loves a Person”

“According to the sorrow is the reward,” since the sorrow and affliction from what he lacks, and to the extent of the need, so is the measure of the reward when his lack is satisfied. Hence, when the Creator sends him the gift of feeling poor, by this he can receive the filling.

This is the meaning of what he says, “How can one be rewarded with the quality of judgment and Tzimtzum [restriction] not governing him?” At that time comes the answer that he is rewarded by this with the Creator sending him a gift. It follows that the gift is the lack, which is the Kli.

When he has the Kli and receives the Kli in the right place, the Creator draws upon him a thread of grace. That is, He gives him the power to be able to engage in Torah and Mitzvot in order to bestow, which is called Hesed [grace/mercy]. At that time, the judgment and Tzimtzum, which cause the concealment, cannot rule over him.

13. RABASH, Article No. 334, “The Difference between Charity and a Gift”

When they are rewarded with the Torah, the Torah is called “a gift,” as our sages said about the verse, “From Matanah [Hebrew: gift] to Nahliel” (Iruvin 54a). Torah means specifically that he has been rewarded with the Giver of the Torah. Hence, the Creator lets him know that He is the one who gives him the gift.

14. RABASH, Article No. 438, “Save Your Servant, You, My God”

The judge has only what his eyes see and he must not ignore any deficiency that he has. On the contrary, to the extent that he feels his deficiency, so he can pray that his rav will satisfy his wishes. And then, the more the student asks, the better.

Finally, he must not stay deficient. He must go again on the path of faith above reason, that he is utterly and completely whole. This is the meaning of the words, “as a servant thanking his rav for the gift he has received from him, and he walks away.” He should believe above reason that he has already received all his wishes, called a “gift.”

15. Baal HaSulam, Shamati, Article No. 20, “Lishma [for Her sake]”

Lishma [for Her sake] is a gift from above, what good is one’s overcoming and efforts, and all the remedies and corrections that he does in order to achieve Lishma, if it depends on the Creator? Our sages said about it, “You are not free to rid yourself of it.” Rather, one must give the awakening from below, and this is considered “prayer.” Yet, there cannot be a real prayer if he does not know first that without prayer it cannot be obtained.

Therefore, the acts and remedies he does in order to obtain Lishma create the corrected Kelim [vessels] in him that want to receive the Lishma. Then, after all the actions and the remedies he can pray in earnest since he saw that all his actions did not help him whatsoever. Only then can he make an honest prayer from the bottom of his heart, and then the Creator hears his prayer and gives him the gift of Lishma.

16. RABASH, Article No. 545, “Laboring and Finding”

We see that usually when a person wants to give gifts, he gives them to his loved ones. Therefore, if the receiver wants to be given a gift, he cannot ask the giver for a gift. Instead, if the receiver tries to make the giver see that he is among the ones who love the giver, the giver will naturally give him gifts.

It therefore follows that in order to be rewarded with the gift of the Torah, he must exert himself with all kinds of actions so the giver will see that he is among the ones who love him. Then he will give him gifts anyhow.

It is a great effort to make the Creator see that he is among the ones who love the Creator, since a person must try not to want anything, and that his only desire will be to bestow contentment upon the Creator and not for his self-love, but for the love of the Creator. This is a great effort because it is against the nature with which he was created.

Through this labor, one is made to be among those who love the King, and then the Creator gives it to him as a gift.

17. RABASH, Article No. 913, “His Law He Contemplate”

We see that concerning giving a gift, for the joy to be complete from the perspective of both the giver and the receiver, this depends on two things: 1) The giver should appreciate the receiver, that he is worthy of such a great gift. If the receiver is an important person, he gives him an important, valuable gift. If he is not very important to him, he will not spend so much of his money to buy him a gift. 2) The receiver can be happy about the gift only to the extent of the need for it, regardless of the cost of the gift.

18. RABASH, Article No. 797, “A Gift”

The meaning of Mitzva [commandment], which is faith, is only a correction, which is a temporary means. Conversely, Torah is a gift, which is the goal, and not the means to achieve the goal. The means are only transient.

A Mitzva is called “work”; the reward is called the “fruits” obtained through the work, and fruits are regarded as Torah, which is the gift that one obtains through the work. The path of the work is called “faith,” by which one obtains the quality of Torah, and the Torah itself is the gift that one obtains, which is the reward that one obtains after the completion of the work.

19. RABASH, Article No. 34 (1989), “What Is Peace in the Work?”

It is written, “As the advantage of the light from within the darkness.” In other words, it is impossible to receive light if he has no lack and need for the light.

For this reason, when a person sees that the nations of the world in him object to the Creator, and he cannot tolerate the enemy of Israel within him, he becomes jealous for his God and does not look at any descents he has, and does what he can and cries out to the Creator to help him be able to defeat the wicked ones within him.

By this he overcomes and does not escape the campaign. At that time, the Creator gives him the covenant. That is, he makes a covenant with Him that there will be peace between him and the Creator, by receiving a gift from the Creator, which is the vessels of bestowal.

20. RABASH, Article No. 24 (1986), “The Difference between Charity and Gift”

We should discern between charity and gift. With charity, the answer to the request of the receiver comes. That is, if the receiver of charity asks then he is given.

It follows that charity comes by an awakening of the lower one because he feels his deficiency. That is, when he sees that he cannot exist in the world without the giver’s help, the receiver is not ashamed but goes and despises himself before the giver, since he has no other choice.

But a gift comes entirely from the giver. That is, if the giver awakens to do something, to reveal the love to his loved one, he sends him a gift. It therefore follows that a gift comes by the awakening of the bestowing upper one, but charity comes by an awakening of the receiver.