BINAH: TIKKUN CHATZOT תקון חצות – LESSON WITH RAV MICHAEL LAITMAN

Lesson on the topic of “I’d Rather Die Than Live”

Morning Lesson August 06, 2022, Transcription 

Transcription is made from simultaneous translation which leaves a possibility for differences in the audio 

Part 1:

I’d Rather Die Than Live – Selected Excerpts from the sources. #4

1. Rav’s Introduction: Yes, we need nevertheless to speak about love, about connection that’s by this we find our life and our deaths that is the forces of separation that come to us from the broken vessels that to begin with the Creator had prepared for us so we would have something to correct and to be able to distinguish between separation and adhesion, between darkness and light and this is how between these two discernments we can discover more and more as much as we rise from this world to the world of Ein Sof like in an opposite cone that there are more and more differences between the right and left between all the details be there in order to receive or in order to bestow, this is the difference between them and this is how we reach knowing the Creator. That he prepared for us these two discernments and by standing between the good and the bad there we attain our upper root so let’s continue. 

Reading 4 (01:52)

2. R. This means that the person is taught how much according to the nature that the Creator created in him is opposite to the form of bestowal, of connection, of all the goodness that we can say about the Creator. That in the person there is no quality that can resemble him, and he is therefore on the other end, according to his qualities from the Creator. This is the state that we discover to begin with in our lives, in our spiritual life and out of that we begin to correct it to come closer to the Creator but don’t you think that coming closer to the Creator those according to the nearing but according to the two qualities, that you discover how you are coming closer and according to how you came closer you have more understanding and more feeling of the Creator, of the way to him even subconsciously first and then consciously and then out of the fact that you attain what it means the Creator that he is good and he is doing good and how he’s connected to everybody and so on accordingly you can imagine to yourself correctly more and more gradually how much you are the opposite of the Creator meaning the advancement towards the Creator actually happens through the opposite feeling. If you constantly see how much you are the opposite, and this is considered that you attain the truth, and you are getting closer. This is the most important thing for a person not to forget this process and that the person here needs strengthening and support so that he is not falling into the spare despair, and he does not fall, and we have to realize that specifically when the person comes to the greatest darkness opposite that the greatest light should be revealed. This is how they go hand-in-hand the darkness and the light.

3. S. (06:28) When I see that I am opposite what should I do?

R. When you think, when you see that you are opposite, well when you see that you are the opposite from what the Creator wants from you, what he is expecting is considered that you came closer to him if you can determine that you are the opposite because otherwise you would not be revealing, you would not discover that you are the opposite.

S. Is that related to the group somehow? 

R. Of course, it has to do with your attitude to yourself and to the group and to mankind and to the Creator, to all of these discernments. 

4. S. (07:42) What does it mean to receive from The Creator according to my nature? 

R. You get at certain illumination from above that passes through all of your qualities, and you then get an impression from the upper illumination through your qualities and then you can see how much you are in favor or against, the opposite or far away and so on and this is how we learn where we truly are.

S. This means that the revelation comes from my effort to connect, I discover in my nature according to what the Creator gives me, my correction, I discover my true nature? 

R. Let’s say.

S. Is this the right direction?

R. No, it is not the right direction because we discover all kinds of things in different manners, and we still have to know how to decipher them in order to learn from them. This is why you cannot open up just each and everything and I say that I understand what the Creator wants from me. We will advance more and then we will reach that.

5. R. (10:00) I feel one of the Russian groups asked me why I am not relating correctly to them, meaning to the Russian groups; when they ask, I disregard them, and I do not give them the possibility to ask. I do not have such a thing, maybe I cannot see on my screen the question marks, now I see different groups, do you also see them? I do not know what is happening to the Russian groups. This is an unjust appeal to me, I actually feel the opposite, you see how even they are arranged at the moment these squares, the screens. I am not the one who arranges them, this is how they are arranged so they are always mixed in such a way that we have Moscow on the top and Holland, Kyiv, Turkey, and Haifa, Florida.

I would like to give everybody a place to appear, an equal place as much as possible. Usually it is determined by how much you are asking, how active you are with your questions, how much you participate in the lesson, not just like that but seriously. I am very sorry; I regret that I hear such things that I am not relating nicely or honestly to the Russian groups as I do to other groups. There are no such things. For me all of the friends are equal and measured only according to their participation, only according to their participation as much as the person wants to participate and even if he does not know quite how, I try in return to relate to him that way. I deliberately am not saying that I have to some secret calculation to each and everybody according to the root of his soul or according to the person’s degree, according to how the Creator relates to the person. No, I relate only according to his active form, his participation in the lesson because in that he is waking up the others and he’s always pulling the others to understanding and participation. 

6. S. (13:18) In the present condition truth is like delusion, so what does it mean to see the truth? 

R. I want to know how much today I am closer to the Creator compared to yesterday, that each and every day I am getting closer to him. Even though in my feeling it is the opposite because the Creator is shining more to me with his light but I in that light I see myself as worse, more egoistic but this does not matter I want to know the truth. Now if I can hold onto it, if I can suffer the truth and progress nevertheless together with it then I start to see the truth. That I am moving away, that for the time being I am opening up my qualities which are the opposite of the Creator and then I am happy that I am following the line of truth and not the line of my feelings. That they are giving me some candy, and this is how the person should constantly hold himself according to which details, which examinations, which measurements he is checking himself, where he is to the Creator, to the purpose of creation.

7. S. (15:29) If I understand the text correctly, this state, when the person is in the state, when he feels that he’s better off dead than alive, when he is shown how far he is, harmful he is to the spiritual if I understand. This is such a critical state when such a feeling wakes up for the person than you can simply run away, are we always being lead in every state through this state of better off dead?

R. Each and everybody has to go through this, maybe not to such an extent, but the person should truly reach that stage that he would be really dead than alive because otherwise he would not reach the restriction. Otherwise the restriction would seem to him as death and if he prepares himself then the restriction will appear to him as a necessary state in order to pass through the tip of the needle, a very tiny hole in order to bestow.

S. How not to run away from that state?

R. Not to run away from this process is only possible by us determining our states, our connection, our purpose, and a few times a day if not more we determine our path this way. It is as if as it is written as if it would be new for you each and every day, that all the time again and again you have to position yourself as if you are born again and you are choosing the purpose of life and the friends and the group, the Creator and you are positioning yourself in connection with them and straight to adhesion to the Creator into equivalence of form, this is how the person has to reset himself all the time.

S. This means that this state that I would rather die than live, if we progress correctly we have to go through it a few times a day?

R. It could be many times a day, yes. 

8. S. (18:21) He says in the beginning that one has to get accustomed to the work, what does it mean? 

R. One who is accustomed to the work, he already has some details, discernments and qualities determining the time and his connection with the group and so on, that everything is arranged, everything is existing in all kinds of places and boxes. How should I put it, in which he can put all of the things that he thinks about himself and the environment, the goal and nevertheless he has to renew this all the time.

S. Is this a condition for later being able to examine himself if he is in the right direction? 

R. Yes, about this will happen by itself every day when the person rises as new and he checks himself a few times a day to the goal, compared to the goal, by this he is building these cells, these discernments. 

9. S. (19:51) It is written in the end of the text that at least they would not blemish that Torah and the Mitzvah meaning to use everything for his own good. What does it mean to use all the things for his own good?

R. To ask what will I get out of it.

10. S. (20:17) You said that when we discover the oppositeness that means that he brought us closer, no? So, don’t we pray for that to be corrected, so we will be able to connect? 

R. Yes, of course. All of the things good or bad, all of them, we eventually have to connect them to our source, to the Creator and all of it together, the positive and negative together. When they are connected correctly the whole thing is about the correct connection then they bring us to the great light.

S. How do we connect this correctly? 

R. The Creator will show us how to connect, we just need to yearn to come closer to him and then in such a way we will reach him. 

Reading 5 (21:40) Twice

11. S. (25:26) It is said that the person has to reach such recognition, how can he reach this if everything is given from above, what is our work? 

R. It is good if you ask what work we have after, nevertheless you heard and participated in a few things in the study, in everything. Our work is to implement what we are learning in the connection between us, this is it. Then bit by bit in the connection between us as much as we connect then it turns out that by this we begin to feel all kinds of connection, manners of connection, what to do if we add a little bit of this or take a little bit away from that and then we start to feel the system of connection between us. This is how we get to know these things just like with anything in life, all-in-all is out of us engaging with something then we learn the nature of that thing in which we are engaging. So this is the first stage we have to do and about this Rabash writes how we should try to come closer and annul ourselves and connect above reason, that is above all of our calculations with the friends to be together with them and so on. Then out of that we will continue onward when we already have a feeling of the society. Like little children who in the beginning are not able to know society, it is not important for them, and they only feel themselves, and then they start growing up and as they grow up the next stage is that they already begin to play with each one another and then they extract some benefit from that, something positive or negative in all kinds of such phenomenon. This is the same with us that out of the fact that we engage with each other we get a certain feeling or the ability to feel the Creator between us. Then when we operate between us we want to detect the Creator; where is he, how is he, where is he hidden, and this is how we bit by bit discover the world in which we are living in the world of connections between us and with the Creator.

S. So it turns out that we need to take your words and to engage in it and having nothing to do if we have a desire or not?

R. If we go according to our desires then we would never do anything correctly. We have to do what the Kabbalists recommend for us to do.

12. S. (29:27) In order to receive the fulfillment he describes in the text should a person be ready to let go of all the fulfillments for the desire to receive?

R. No, you do not have to be ready for that. To begin with, that is not possible but to starts to some extent to do such things, yes.

13. S. (29:29) How can we erase deep fear and insecurity to the faith?

R. We do not need to be afraid, and we do not need so much to get excited out of the fact that we do not understand, we cannot. We need to do what we are allowed, what is upon us, and when we do these things we see that the other things also start to fall into place; it is very simple. This is how the system is built. It is a system and if in that system even though you are not familiar with certain elements of the system, but when you engage with what you can do suddenly you see that those other elements are also falling into place. It is a kind of law of the system; it is like a game.

S. You are right, but I want to say that when I feel a deep fear and insecurity it cancels the mind. I cannot think, and it gets control of the whole body so in that state how to overcome it?

R. Only through the adhesion with the society. I do not see anything more beneficial than adhering to the friends and doing truly dilute yourself there, becoming incorporated there, and do whatever they are doing without any mind and reason. 

14. S. (32:14) In the text it says that “he receives satisfaction for the lack of which he says, ‘I would rather die than live’”. What is the fulfillment for search lack? 

R. This is something that greatly promotes one and is good, when one feels that truly in the state he is in and he’s always in his own qualities and he does not even feel the Creator he does not feel the friends, what he feels is he feels it only according to that quality that can resemble them. So, if I in one percent resemble the Creator then in that one percent I can feel Him, it is the same with the friends, this is how we progress.

15. S. (33:23) Can there be a state that a person is afraid to perform actions to make efforts to come closer to the Creator because then they’ll discover that he is far and opposite from the Creator and that scares him?

R. It could be, everything is possible; these relations can be from one end to the other. 

S. Sometimes the person feels that he did not make efforts to come close to the Creator and there is a feeling that he is far from the Creator compared to a person who does make actions to come closer to the Creator and he feels far from the Creator. Is there a difference in the quality?

R. This is all for the person to feel. 

16. S. (34:18) How can we help friends who do not have these five hours a day to dedicate to the ten, they can only give two hours, how can we complete that? 

R. I do not know, nevertheless two hours a day, well, that too is good but is that enough, I do not know? it as much as they are so disconnected from connection, with everything you cannot pass on to them a recording of the lesson, conversations, letters? How can that be?

S. They do not have time, they’re working.

R. What do you mean ‘working’, I do not understand, what do you mean by ‘working’, working such that they cannot listen?

S. Some of them do hear, some complete it later but it’s not together. 

R. It is not important if it’s not together, the most important is that they are together with you each and every day for an hour or two, connected; and the rest of it, he shallows it, he hears the lesson, that already has an effect.

S. And what can we do in order to help, to be stronger?

R. To supply him with materials, to supply an awakening, to supply support, yes? But gently.

S. Should he feel that he is lacking or maybe he feels that he’s ok if that’s all he can?

R. He should feel that he has no choice and that he regrets it, but this is the situation, that is the situation. Rabash would work, after he got married, in construction, he was a construction worker. Back then you did not have a way to ‘pull strings’ and do office work so he said he would come to work in the morning. So he would come to work, and the boss would say “today we are pulling up sacks of concrete and bringing them up to the roof”. And Rabash said “from the morning to the evening, we would just lift up”, we are talking about the 1930’s, let’s say, one hundred years ago, right, so, 1930’s. So, he said, “all day long we would be carrying this concrete on our back”. 

S. I guess he used to use that time to go over the lessons and to speak with the Creator?

R. Try to do that, I’m certain that if you repeat the lessons with a sack of cement on your back it will help you, then we will hear from you. 

Reading 6 (38:00 – 39:26)

17. S. (39:32) These passages bring up questions: what is the inner feeling that I should be in? To be stormy toward the goal or to accept the work ‘as an ox to the burden and the donkey to the load’? It appears as if the person is going through inner scrutinies all the time and I do not even feel that I should accept the work ‘as an ox to the burden and the donkey to the load’, I’m not even in that state.

R. Rather you want it to be served to you in a way that will be clear.

S. No, I look at you also, you are a man of work, you get up for the lesson, etc., we should be the same. We have to sustain a family and to do dissemination, and I do not find myself in such scrutinies, even to scrutinize my yearnings, I don’t manage to do it.

R. Throughout all of your business about our work, that is related to our work and also relate it to your family, you can find all the time, almost one hundred percent of your time, you can engage in what is said here because it is about ‘why am I doing it’, what will I get out of it, how should I do: in what direction, in what thought? And that does not bother you to do work, it doesn’t disturb you. 

S. Constantly hold onto this question of ‘what am I doing it for’, hold on to it?

R. Yes, this is the work.

18. S. (41:23) A few times the word ‘craving’ appears in the excerpt, that I’m supposed to ‘crave’ something, and I do not have the oppositeness, the contrast like you always taught us, ‘light and darkness, bitter and sweet’. So, the question is whether here I am expected to work above reason?

R. That depends how ever you can, how you can.

S. How can I have a craving for something that I do not even know what it is, I do not have this feeling? 

R. Do what you understand should be done, do not jump to something you cannot define, or you cannot feel, and to aim yourself at, do whatever you can.

S. How do we attain a craving, a yearning?

R. A Prayer, look at others and envy them. 

19. S. (42:43) How can a student who reaches that state of ‘I would rather die than live’, how can he not leave the spiritual work, where does he get the fuel from to continue?

R. From the environment and from the Creator, he should try to receive fuel always from the environment and from the Creator because if not from there then his fuel will come from his ego, from the other side, the Sitra Achra. And so if he leaves the connection with the friends and through them with the Creator, it is a sign that he’s already under the control of his ego, of the Sitra Achra, and all of his work is going in the opposite way. Even in the opposite way, when he advances he nonetheless reaches a state that he sees that he is going in the opposite state, then he can turn around and go straight.

Reading 7 (44:25 – 45:58)

20. R. (46:00) Yes, meaning there are many questions here that we’re not in states of really worse than death but rather we can keep on going, it is just unpleasant, it is not nice, we do not feel some uplifting, there’s no wind in our wheels or sails but it is not that we do not live, we live. Meaning if I looked at the other people, how am I worse than them, what do I have in my life and what do they have? Even if in corporeality I go down to my neighbor’s level so what does he have? Nothing from spirituality, I at least have something and this way a person can no longer say any longer that ‘I would rather die than live’ since others are alive, what about me? So, I have to bring myself to a state that I cannot live by the same criteria, by the same foundations they have. My foundation of my life has to be that I am above the degree of this life, that I am in the life of bestowal, in a life that everyone is in the second force of nature, the second degree; otherwise, it is not life, I am not alive, I am below life. So if one reaches a state that he examines himself and he sees that he’s in a state that ‘I’d rather die than live’, it is a sign that he really has discovered his true state and he must rise. How, only through the friends and the Creator that can help him. As he says, “if I can do everything in order to bestow, rather you have to ask the Creator to help you, and if you haven’t yet received help from the Creator, you’re so concerned to such an extent that you say, ‘I’d rather die than live’”. Meaning, what is the answer for this, ‘I’d rather die than live”: demand from the Creator until you receive. And to demand from the Creator, it has to be with support from the environment and in general, from the whole world, when you see that the whole world is also awaiting and expecting you to show the secret of life to them.

21. S. (49:23) This state that is described here that this stage or approach, that the person gradually goes to a different, adopts a different approach? 

R. This is something the person starts discovering bit-by-bit, this relation to sanctity, to the Creator. When he wants to be in it, he wants to belong to it, he wants to serve it. He’s willing to help it with everything, bit by bit he comes closer, he takes part, and he sees himself there. 

Reading 8 (50:35 – 53:48) twice

22. R. (53:51) Meaning, over the deficiency there is nothing to ask, if you are lacking, you are lacking. You may laugh, you may say, “ah, that’s not important what he wants, it is not at all that thing”. But if the person lacks something, this is what he is lacking, we see it mainly about children. He is screaming, he wants it, now the moment he gets it he forgets about it. This is how it is but even with grown-ups, it is not so different, this is on the one hand. On the other hand, we have to respect these deficiencies that awaken in men and women because by this we may show them where to fulfill a deficiency, how to bring him to a state that he will be so satisfied with his life that he would feel that is in the world of Ein Sof, this is our work.

23. S. (54:59) ‘I would rather die than live’ means that I want the Creator to specifically put to death my intention to receive?

R. He cannot stand the deficiency that he has, he can’t understand it. The Creator created the will to receive, the will to enjoy, and he wants the person to choose in what kind of a desire to enjoy he wants to exist, either in order to receive or in order to bestow. The Creator exists in order to bestow, the world to begin with is a little bit in the will to receive, opposite of the Creator. And then an opportunity is given to him, as opposed to being opposite the Creator he is given the Torah, the group, and he can straighten himself up and to go and every time to correct himself to that direction where the Creator is.

S. So, it turns out the person cries out about a deficiency for vessels of bestowal not reception?

R Let it be so, it doesn’t matter, vessels of reception are also vessels that can work in order to bestow. 

24. S. (56:41) In many of these excerpts, it is written that the person should reach a state where he has a true lack and suffering because he has no satisfaction. A true lack as I understand it is the desire to be in love and bestowal towards the friends and from that to the Creator, and the satisfaction, the filling, or the suffering from the lack of filling. The deficiency for the filling, is this that the friends will get the filling, satisfaction?

R. The filling comes to my desire whenever I fill others, then I feel myself that I am full. Look at a mother when she gives now some small bottle or porridge to the baby, and the baby drinks, eats, how much pleasure he has from eating and how happy she is and all she’s praying for is for him to keep on drinking and eating all his food, how much pleasure she has. That’s the pleasure we pass onto the whole world, to everybody, this is what we should feel. 

25. S. (58:31) So it turns out that we have to awaken each other without any relation to whether we feel a deficiency or not? 

R. Let it be so.

26. S. (58:53) My friends with whom we work together in the Party, they now rose to high degrees, senior roles, and they invited me to their group. I don’t know what to do with it? For the time being I haven’t said anything to them.

R. Well I cannot say, you can call them and explain to them what you are doing without relating it to Israel or Jews, but you can explain to them that you are really interested in a method, a special method of connection between people. That today the whole world is discovering how much our connections are currently not good, not talking about Russian or Chinese, or Americans or Europeans. We don’t know how to connect between ourselves so that on this small, petty Earth to have, somehow, have a tolerable way of life somehow. And maybe even we can enjoy a little bit, to bring something good to the children you give birth to and not just to let them handle themselves after you give birth to them.

S. Why are they suddenly inviting me to join?

R. Go over there to try to explain what you’re doing, that’s it. That this method is not about religion, you don’t need to believe anyone or anything, you don’t need to pray, you don’t need to perform rituals. All these things we do are only to connect us, nothing else. That’s our method, that’s all. Try it, maybe they can hear.

27. S. (01:01:55) In spirituality, the light never quenches the desire but rather the desire for adhesion is more and more burning?

R. The desire itself is felt as light, it is not the opposite of light but rather we use it in a way that it’s like the light, that is called “the darkness illuminates, shines like light”. If I want to do something good for someone, I want it, meaning that’s my desire, so I act on him and by that I pass on to him the force of bestowal, light, fulfillment. Meaning the desire is not wrong in itself, what it’s wrong is if it is aimed for its own good.

28. S. (01:03:12) We have the perception, the inner feeling that we have reached the right environment but there are times when we believe that we didn’t do everything that we can, so what can we do to harness these feelings to adhesion with the Creator, with the light, and use them to advance?

R. We should think together, we should think together but not to have meals or such physical meetings but rather meetings in which you really talk and think seriously what should we add in order to reach one vessel. The Creator is waiting for that, He’s in the center of connection between us, all we need to do is to reach it. So how can we connect in order to reach the center of the connection between us? When this point exists our location, that’s where it is, coordinates are there. Let’s come to that and there we will meet with the Creator, that will be the first point of the final Correction, and later into this point we’ll keep on, to draw all the people in the world so that they can follow us. In the beginning all of Bnei Baruch and later the whole world in general.

29. S. (01:05:36) Every friend has his own deficiency so it turns out that one friend, you can understand his deficiency and his line towards the Creator, his advancement towards the Creator. But to gather from each one his deficiency and to tie it all together into one know, that’s unrealistic so how can we reach this?

R. It seems to you to be difficult, but you can collect these things together, try to dedicate time and space for this without leaving this place, it maybe be virtual. And from this time that you determined, let’s say for a half an hour, when you think and talk only about how can you incorporate in each other to such an extent that you really feel yourself, that you have no difference between you. Everything is together, less words, the feeling should be as one; when I yearn for the Creator and you and him, we can combine all these. And so we will reach him.

30. S. (01:07:28) In our current perception of reality, it is as if we are drilling more holes in the boat, and we are in situations we consider good. How come we see this existing reality as a deficiency that needs to be filled so we never open a hole in the boat?

R. That depends on the connection between us, nothing else, we don’t have so many means, you understand? It’s all-in-all, there’s a connection between us and the prayer to the Creator. And even about the connection between us, we have to pray for it and also the help, that He will help, when we already have the connection between us so we will know how to realize it and the address of the Creator always, that’s how it is. We have to be ‘Israel, the Creator and the light are one’, that’s all. So, what’s the difficulty, just not to leave.

31. S. (01:08:56) There are states that repeat again and again in order to receive a feeling from the state where we already determined many, many times that beside emptiness there’s nothing to this feeling, dissatisfaction. The question is why does it happen and how can we come out of this circle, this cycle?

R. That’s exactly the game of the evil inclination, he draws you time and again to lose, to find the emptiness, that zero having nothing but you agree, and you follow it, and you know nothing will come out of it. But in the meantime, why do you follow it? The way it somehow is comfortable for you and that’s his profit, he’s gain.

S. So how can you come out of these vicious cycles?

R. Only through the connection with the friends, no onesies in the same state as you are, everyone has his own state, so you need to help each other. And don’t pay attention, exactly about each other, that it’s not comfortable, maybe he will bother them. We have to determine such times that we do disturb each other, and we have to answer, and we must not run away from the connection between us and to advance this way.

S. How is this help done, can you explain this mutual help?

R. Mutual help, try with the friends, these are simple things, these are ordinary things, earthly thing, there is nothing problematical here. You start from the simple connection between us, ordinary people have it that they want to help each other, that they want to reach some goal, somehow. Just like you understand people work in a group, let’s say they’re building something, a building, or some system or maybe you work together in a factory, a group of people, that’s how it is for us. Start with these things, later bit-by-bit add the Creator to it so He will help, that He will give us some discernment and this way we will advance.

S. Do you recommend we all share our difficulties?

R. Of course, of course.

Reading excerpt #9 (01:12:10 – 01:14:32) “The suffering is measured by the yearning of the matter…” Twice

32. S. (01:14:37) “It’s better to be dead than alive”, that’s a true desire in such an extreme manner so it’s not clear how bad the suffering has to be, or do they accumulate? Because we see in the wok that if some true desire shows up that at least it’s aimed towards that connection, so it’s filled right away?

R. Do you know what a person is missing, envy, envy. That’s when he sees that all the others are successful and he’s not. He’s willing to do everything but to feel that by envy, that’s how he’s being humiliated, he’s humiliated, he’s downgraded. He can’t, meaning, that spark he has from the Creator, it has to bring him up to the highest degree above everyone, now he is being humiliated to the dust, that’s something a person cannot tolerate. If we open ourselves up to feel the others as high, higher, greater and we are smaller to the point that they disregard us, that gives us a lot of power, a lot of power. “Envy, lust and honor take a person out of this world”, and mostly it’s envy.

S. You said before that in a state when we feel ourselves maybe a bit depressed, but we still get something from it, we keep living in such a way. So, it is like this envy doesn’t have enough forces in it to unite us so how could there be such envy that we do get something from it? There’s not such a great necessity when some fulfilment drips in but still you get some kind of feeding.

R. It is true, it’s correct what you’re saying is very true but still you have to try to increase envy, to increase envy: why are others better than me? I can help them in everything, but I don’t want to be less than them. And that is not considered pride or ego, you simply also want to achieve bestowal and closeness to the Creator, and you are using all of the inclinations that the Creator created in you, that is a must. 

33. S. (01:18:29) There are states that I want to ask for help, it used to take me ten minutes, now it takes me four hours. There’s a feeling like the time is different so how can I get over such a state and incorporate in the ten as ‘one man in one heart’?

R. Prayer, prayer, nothing else, nothing besides that.

34. S. (01:19:03) I heard about an example that we sign a clean piece of paper when we make an agreement with the Creator, can we say that the condition is a condition that the ten puts before Him or not?

R. Certainly yes, of course, that means that you are going to be the Malchut with respect to all your friends who are the first nine Sephirot. And what they pass on to you, you accept and carry out, that’s how the connection in the ten needs to be, well said.

35. S. (01:19:56) When it feels that from above it is not enough light being bestowed to the ten, what is the advice?

R. There’s no such thing that there’s not enough light coming to the ten rather you are not sensitive enough to the light that is coming to you, where is that sensitivity, sensitivity, your sensitivity to that light that they Creator shines. He shines more to you but through your connection you can’t achieve that sensitivity so as to see that light. And what each one wants to capture from the light, it is like you are capturing one photon of it, just this one small package of line, and if you connect between you then there will be enough from you, from all of you, to feel that it’s the inclusive light that comes to you, the Creator gives to you as a ten and if you receive it not as a ten but individually, then you feel you don’t have sufficient light.

S. I am concealing.

R. What did he say?

S. I’m concealing the light.

R. Of course, of course, each and every one does, each and every one is concealing. When you all have to come to a spiritual action which you do by connecting, that’s the necessary condition, very simple and it is called ‘from love the created beings to the love of the Creator’.

S. How come we see the point of restriction, in emotions and desires, where?

R. Forget about the point of restriction, I don’t know what it is. What we’re talking about now is how through our connection we come to a state where we sense that from above the upper light works on us? And not the restriction or anything.

36. S. (01:22:36) no translation

R. Please repeat.

S. The last excerpt we read he writes that in spiritual matters that was restriction and concealment in place, so one does not see that the light and pleasure clothed in Torah and Mitzvot. last row Why is it like that, that we don’t see the pleasure while we are bestowing?

R. You can. Actions are bestowal are exactly actions that are considered Torah and Mitzvot. What are Mitzvot? Actions of bestowal. What is the Torah? It’s the light that shines on our actions of bestowal towards each other, that’s it. Actions of bestowal are exactly what we call Mitzvot of the Torah. There is confusion that you have for now but there’s no difference. That’s that, it’s not in addition to that. Mitzvot meaning actions required from us by the Torah, which is love thy friend as yourself, that’s the great rule of the Torah, and there are such actions only from connections. From our degree all the way to the final correction, all those actions, that’s what we’re talking about in the Torah, how we need to connect between us so that the upper light can appear to us. And so there’s the work of the Mitzvot on our part, meaning connecting between us from one degree to another degree and so forth. Accordingly we discover from one degree to the next the upper light, the Creator that appears between us, that’s it. And all of it, that is all called His revelation, the Torah. So it turns out that we reveal the Torah and Mitzvot.

S. Is it possible to say that we can be happy because we’re continuing with the Kabbalists gave us and we’re not taking anything for our benefit but only doing it for the Creator. Is that the right feeling, is that the right direction?

R. Yes, yes exactly that. That’s really, really accurate.

37. S. (01:25:58) We know that the Creator doesn’t give more than what a person can stand so it turns out that if we continue that sooner or later He will give more than we can deal with. So we’ll all say it’s better to be dead than alive?

R. It’s all measured according to what we can do. Because first we have to decide whether we want it or not in and what way. And then accordingly we have a connection to the Creator, and He unlocks the light towards us everyone together in a very precise manner that’s measured by our participation with the Creator. So there is nothing for us to be afraid of in terms of the light coming to us without us being ready for it and that we will receive it in order to receive, that’s not going to happen. It is only happened in the ruin, the sin but it’s not that it can happen today. And what did happen was in order to prepare the vessels for correction, that’s it. And now we are celebrating a very special date that we call the 9th of Av, the ninth day of the month of Av in which there was the last preparation of the shattering of the vessels, after which all the vessels are ready for correction. So, that happened once and now there’s an opportunity for correction. Today we are really in the action of correction, and we are working, correcting, and preparing our vessels for connection and correction in practice.

38. S. (01:28:24) You said they say I am Malchut compared to the first nine Sefirot. So those first nine are always in a state of bestowing to the Creator and adhesion with Him?

R. No, the first nine Sefirot they don’t receive and don’t bestow. They’re connecting the Keter, the upper light that shines from above to the Partzuf with the Malchut. With these Sefirot from above, from the Rosh to the Malchut, they are all properly organized with the will to receive and the will to bestow in them. So they are connecting the Malchut to the upper light even though they’re opposite, Malchut is opposite to the upper light, but they are connecting them together by transforming reception to bestowal. That’s the role of the Partzuf by which the created being, the Partzuf, the Malchut which is opposite to the Keter, opposite to the Creator, they then become as one.

S. no translation

R. All right, think about it, we’ll talk about it no problem. Don’t worry, you’ll get whatever you need. There’s a program by which you advance and everyone, all of you will come to the final correction.

S. Should I know the quality of every Sefirot in order to build it correctly?

R. No, we will learn that from experience. By you reading now about each and every Sefirot, a few pages about what it is that’s not going to give you anything. That needs to come from our work to recognize these things.

39. S. (01:30:54) How come we come back to getting excited and envious of the friends?

R. Imagine to yourself that you are connected to them in a single soul, and that’s what you need to discover. The more you discover this connection between you, thus you will enter spirituality, that’s it. So your spirituality depends on connection between them.

S. But it’s like the emotion disappeared, the feeling.

R. Now that’s your problem, disappears, doesn’t disappear. Do all kind of actions and bring yourself to it.

40. S. (01:32:00) How to connect to a ten if I feel rejection from them, that they’re rejecting me?

R. It’s not them rejecting you, it’s the Creator setting up these relationships for you with them so that you will bow before them. Lower you head towards them, like that and accept them, that’s it. You have to do that. Lower your nose, keep your nose down.

41. S. (01:33:20) If there was a restriction and concealment does that mean there’s only room for faith?

R. Yes, of course.

S. And faith, Emuna that means intention?

R. Faith means that I am going with eyes shut towards connecting with the friends and moving towards the Creator.

S. And that is the intention to bestow?

R. Yes, that’s an intention to bestow.

S. So how is the intention measured, according to records?

R. According to the disturbances.

S. Is that records?

R. Let’s say so, yes.

42. S. (01:34:08) The prayer is deeper the more you feel lost so should we ask for help from the friends when we are in such states?

R. Yes of course, of course. I cannot turn the to the Creator, I cannot turn to help from the Creator before I turn for help from the friends. This is called from love of the created beings to love of the Creator. All the actions we should do as me, the ten and the Creator. So I can’t skip the ten and turn to the Creator, I first have to try to realize these actions in the ten. And then with the conclusion that I achieve, feel, sense, with that I turn to the Creator.

43. S. (01:35:17) There are times, there are periods like you are talked about now that we are attacked, our organization, all kinds of negative reports, things that people just make up about us that have no connection to reality. How to take this into a positive feeling, into our work?

R. I simply don’t relate that either this way or that way. This is the work of people who are Klipa and that’s what they have to do. And by that they also prepare various external vessels for getting closer to the purpose of creation. They can’t hear it in any other way, they can’t hear about it otherwise, so this is how they work. I’m not standing in the way; I don’t think they’re actually doing harm to us. There is no harm in the world, in general everything is supervised by the Creator and so whatever happens, happens, that’s it. So be calm, you do your part, do your work and whatever happens with them happens.

S. How to explain it to new people that they don’t get hurt and that it won’t hurt dissemination?

R. I don’t know. It depends on what kind of person how you approach them. Show me someone that everyone speaks highly about. There’s no such thing.

Song

Reading Excerpt #10 (01:40:17)

44. S. (01:42:03) What does it mean to turn to the ten before I turn to the Creator? Because there could be personal problems too, but I don’t want to take the friend’s time away.

R. I understand you. There is no such thing as the friend’s time, you can’t turn to the Creator if you’re not connected to the ten, at least with one or two more. The minimum of the many is two. You have to turn to the Creator from your connection with someone from the ten if you don’t have the opportunity to connect to all of them. But certainly the good connection to the Creator is where you connect all the friends, and from your connection you or all of you turn to the Creator. The Creator doesn’t count a single individual, it doesn’t count it. Look what Rabash writes, how a person has to incorporate with the others and submit himself to the ten, to be as a zero towards one and so forth. Otherwise you have no connection with the Creator, it’s like you’re not connecting, you’re not turning the switch. There is no connection between you and the Creator it is only from within the ten and this stems from the shattering of Adam HaRishon.

45. S. (01:44:09) Is the plea to the ten through thought, speech and action or everything together?

R. I didn’t get the question. The plea to the Creator needs to be from the whole ten as much as possible.

S. Me turning to the ten, is it in speech, prayer, deeds, subjugation, or everything together?

R. Yes, I don’t understand him.

S. So it’s not just to come to a friend and say I have a problem; I have come with something. 

R. Start working and then talk, I don’t like all these philosophies before you do something. Start working on it and then we will talk.

S. It’s not philosophy it’s from the work. People say I need you to pray for this guy and that guy. Should they do something before they ask for it?

R. They first need to understand that our whole prayer should only be on connection between us. That by the connection between us all the problems come to a close, everything is solved, is resolved by the connection between us, that’s it. Because there is no bad that comes if not from the shattering. And so the opposite to shattering is connection and by that we correct everything, anything bad is corrected only by connection. And so our whole work is only to discover the shattering. Look at what’s happening now in the world. In every place we discover shattering and distance and hatred and resistance between nations and so forth. It is all in order to reach correction, to reach correction.

S. The correction will come from above?

R. Yes.

46. S. (01:46:44) In this excerpt he speaks about three conditions for prayer and yesterday we were saying that the happiest thing in the person’s life is when he reaches despair of his own forces and then his prayer is complete. So here in the excerpt he added a second condition out of the three. So it’s not clear why we need another condition.

R. This indicates how it is needed for him to receive a correction because where he is now he feels it as death.

47. S. (01:47:37) Please explain the last line that praying.. 

R. Life in spirituality means connection with the friends and the Creator and drawing the light of life from above.

48. S. (01:48:24) What are the criteria that according to them I can check my closeness or distance from the Creator?

R. According to your closeness or distance from your friends, from the group, there is no other measurement. And that’s true for now as well as all the degrees. We can only measure connection between us and the friends, and the Creator will be as a result of closeness or distance between us.

49. S. (01:49:05) Is a person’s spiritual development only in recognition of evil or could his bestowal have to grow too?

R. One thing depends on the other. Both bestowal and recognition of evil they’re interdependent, but certainly man’s progress depends on that.

50. S. (01:49:51) What does it mean to participate in the lesson actively?

R. To be in the whole lesson while listening, and even write down some notes to myself that I later want to clarify and ask and look into some sources. To be active, meaning to actively work with the material. To be in a feeling. To what extent do I feel that I am on the same wavelength as the lesson, the teacher, and the friends?

51. S. (01:50:34) Is it expressed by asking the Rav questions or only internal?

R. No, not necessarily you have to ask, no. There are many other women that I know, that I work within different frameworks, in writing articles and so forth, and they don’t necessarily ask.

52. S. (01:51:03) How to work with our unwanted qualities in the best way?

R. That I want to correct them. The negative form is a great asset, that I know what to correct to make things good. So if I bring it to correction and I want it to be corrected and I pay attention to how the Creator in my closeness to Him corrects this quality, then to me that’s already work together between me and the Creator.

53. S. (01:51:59) When a person comes closer to the Creator or discovers he’s opposite of Him and his intention?

R. Correct on the one hand, on the other hand he also feels he’s getting closer. Everything appears in its form and its opposite form.

54. S. (01:52:20) What is the exact interpretation of better be dead than alive?

R. That if I receive the upper light that this will be my life and that is better than my present death, meaning whatever my present states are they can die. I would put it like that, not the way we usually interpret it. I am better off dead meaning I am better dying in terms of where I am right now with respect to the life that I achieve, attain on a higher level of bestowal.

55. S. (01:53:15) Is the recognition of the state of death what helps us reach Lishma?

R. The recognition of in order to receive, that that is death for us now, of our qualities, that leads us to the recognition of evil in it and that we can rise to the degree of the bestowal.

56. S. (01:53:49) What exactly is exertion in our work? There could be friend that comes to the lesson every day but doesn’t reach a deficiency and a different friend that hardly comes to a lesson even once a week but with a great effort. So what measures spiritual efforts?

R. Spiritual effort is measured by how much I connect to the friends internally and try to participate with them in all the actions as much as possible, the external actions. And all of that is in my intention to come to exit myself. And when I assimilates in them, from that I will come to Lishma, to the sensation of the Creator. If I am ready to dilute myself in the group by that I’ll feel the Creator, connect with Him, and thus continue.

57.S. (01:55:13) If every time I’m shown from above how far I am from the work of Lishma, what is the difference in my internal work if every time I try to get closer?

R. That even though each time I feel and discover the truth that I am far from the Creator it doesn’t cool me down in my work. It doesn’t push me away or out. It only indicates to me how I’m being shown my true state, and I am thankful to the Creator for doing that for me and that is how I advance. The truth is it is a very beautiful sign. It is a very, very beautiful sign that I discover how far I am. It’s an indication that in terms of true spirituality I am close.

58. (01:56:27) S. What does it mean better to be dead than alive, what we’re speaking about or people who really lose flavors in life?

R. They don’t have any taste in life. We lose taste in corporeal life so as to add taste in spiritual life.

59. S. (01:56:51) With men and women, better be there than alive, is it felt in the same way?

R. It is never felt in the same way across any person and another person and whether it’s between men and women it doesn’t matter. Spirituality is not so dependent on the corporeal gender, and we will see that. We will see that because actually when we come closer to spirituality the gap, the difference between men and women becomes less, becomes lesser. There were such women who engaged in the wisdom of Kabbalah and in getting closer to the Creator who were greater than the men. And all the Kabbalists, adults, younger people they would come to them, to ask and to learn from them. And there are such historical mentions as well. And there were some women who were laying the filling for instance which are actions similar to the men. Because it’s not really related to the corporal appearance in our world, it’s related to the correction of the inner desire meaning the soul. And when you achieve, when you enter the correction of the soul there is not that many differences here. Because each one has his will to receive and in spirituality, men or women is about what you go through from state to state. That one time you have a feminine desire and then a masculine desire that awakens in the person and accordingly he is working with it. So our appearance in terms of who is a man and who is a woman is only related to this world. But when we rise above the corporeal desires there is basically no issue anymore. We don’t identify in the next world, you can’t even identify gender because male, female are other discernments, they’re spiritual discernments. So it is unrelated to the external form of the women we see before us now. There is no such thing in spirituality, no. Don’t think that you will continue to some feminine forms of spirituality, no, it’s only the desire. And man’s desire, woman’s desire in spirituality is determined by spiritual discernments.

60. S. (02:00:50) How can a person get support from his ten when he’s in a state of better dead than alive if the ten is in the different state of satisfaction from the work and they don’t understand each other?

R. She’s not understanding them perhaps, but she should incorporate in the ten until she loses himself there.

61. S. (02:01:22) Does a true deficiency always come with shame?

R. Shame is the revelation of the deficiency, but the deficiency can come from me wanting to receive or that I am ashamed that I want to receive or that that from wanting to organize everyone or to bestow and to love everyone I can’t and so forth. Shame is a sign that my relation to the ten is dishonest. Because even a thief, if he’s a thief he’s a thief, there is no problem with that, that’s my profession that is what I do. But if he is told you’re not such a great thief, there is a better thief than you over there, then he’s ashamed that he is not such a successful thief. And that makes him ashamed, so shame is a very big correction.

62. S. (02:02:45) no translation

R. Yes.

63. S. (02:03:11) How can I help my friends fill their deficiencies if I don’t understand their desire exactly, how do you learn to feel the ten?

R. Their desires to reach Gmar Tikkun, end of Corrections, it doesn’t depend on them, it’s what the Creator is organizing for them. That is why you need to turn to that: how do we together reach in the quickest truest way to the end of Correction, that should be your plea, not for any other form.

64. S. (02:03:52) How to respond correctly to despair that awakens in us when we feel that our love to the Creator does not get any response?

R. You don’t have in the whole world, in all worlds, in all of reality someone that loves you except the Creator, the rest are just egoist, and they don’t think about you but only about themselves. Only the Creator loves you, faithful to you, constantly thinks about you without stopping. So don’t forget that and give Him a bit back of what He is relating towards you.

65. S. (02:04:47) What is the true deficiency that touches the heart?

R. The true deficiency that touches the heart that I don’t have the love of the Creator.

66. S. (02:03:03) How can I be envious of my friends if we are not usually talking about spiritual attainments, if on the outside you don’t see it?

R. You need to imagine to yourself as much as they’re advancing and as much as you still did not reach where they are.

67. S. (02:05:27) How is it possible not to settle for little in our work and always increase the passion and the desire?

R. Look, I think that we need to just simply start anew every day, and every day starts from me awakening myself from sleep, from death, from helplessness, from indifference, each and every day that has to be, so try. Try, everyone organizes all kinds of means for himself to wake up and aim himself quickly towards the Creator.

68. S. (02:06:32) We talk a lot about what we lack in order to achieve a stronger connection so what turns the words we say to actions that actually bring us closer to the desired connection?

R. Bring the hearts closer together, bring the hearts closer together from between us to the Creator. That is what will do everything for us and bring us success.

 Today we have, today and tomorrow, a special day of the shattering of the vessels which is each and every year that day on 9th of Av there are all kinds of unpleasant events that take place. So that is why we need to have some real, heartful scrutiny, to feel sorry that we are still in egoistic intentions and that we want to come out of them and still we’re and not succeeding in it. That is our state in these two days, today and tomorrow, tomorrow night. So, what should we do next, there is almost no time?

69. S. (02:08:27) Even though we are in the group, the person feels there’s only him and the Creator when requesting, how do we overcome this?

R. It is true, it is our biggest problem that it is hard for a person to come out of himself and to start connecting with the ten, it is the biggest problem and that is what we should pray for. The moment we start connecting with a few friends, by that, we’re giving place for the Creator to bestow upon us, to start filling us with His light that by our annulling each one towards the others, it’s like the restriction and our connection with the others is similar to reflected lights. And then we’re ready to accept each and every one and their desire, some kind of small illumination, and by that we start uplifting above this world to the next world. That is why we need to just simply build some process for ourselves; that we see before us, we see how we’re doing it. And how we are coming close to one another, how we are concerned in our closeness to find new qualities, new feelings, new discernments, and this way we will rise.

70. S. (02:10:40) For quite a long time there are difficulties on the spiritual path, to what extent can there be help so that it’s not luxuries?

R. You have to consult with your group, I can’t advise anything about this. In such cases the group needs to advise you what to do, and I hope they will do it in a serious way and that it will help. From a distance, I can’t even though I’m not that distant but, ‘distant’ I mean that I can’t get in those kinds of relationships, but their friends can. So, turn to them and let’s hope that they take it seriously.

71. S. (02:12:05) You mentioned 9th of Av, but something I got from before, you said to the women, “listen, women, the Creator loves us infinitely”, where did you take that from, if I can ask?

R. The Creator, obviously, the Creator likes them because He takes care of them and through them, thanks to the righteous women, ‘the sons of Israel came out of Egypt’. And in that way, Egypt is the entire will to receive that comes out to the spiritual world, thanks to what? With the righteous women, so we need to respect the women, also our women, that they will participate with us and pull us to a higher spiritual degree that without them we cannot.

S. So. He doesn’t like the men, He only likes the women?

R. The men have to do work of overcoming and the women have a bit different work. They don’t need to such an extent to overcome between them, just on the connection between them.

S. I wanted to ask you, can you reach a state where you feel the love of the Creator towards us because at the moment, I don’t feel like He loves me, all I feel is blows. How can I feel the Creator, actually feel like He loves me, how can you reach that?

R. “Everyone who loves the Creator will prove it”, you know that sentence.

S. But how can you come to the point where you feel that the Creator loves you?

R. You need to feel through blows and pressures that the Creator loves you, that in such a way specifically He is relating to the person, He wants to help the person advance.

S. What do I need to feel about it, like tell me what sign can I see that the Creator gives me love back besides the educational process He’s putting me through?

R. By this He’s helping you advance towards the goal, what could be better help on His behalf?

S. Put it differently, as a Kabbalist, do you feel the Creator loves you?

R. I’m not speaking personally.

S. In general, a Kabbalist reaches a state like that?

R. Yes, in each and every state.

S. Really?

R. Yes, why not?

S. How did that love manifest?

R. How is it expressed from the Creator, that He doesn’t let go of me for a moment.

S. Well, listen there’s what to aspire for.

R. That He doesn’t let go of me for a moment, that means every day I get a lot of blows.

S. So, yes but it’s not just that you have energy to get up in the morning, you said if He didn’t give you that strength you needn’t have it?

R. Correct, He gives blows and along with it, connects us, He connects me to the group, He gives me the forces to wake up, to give lessons and more and more things. And I thank Him for it, along with that I have a lot of haters, all kinds of and so on. So that is in order to balance things, it has to be that way.

S. For instance, yesterday we met with the ten and all the people we know in the ten, and we talked a lot about, you know, there are a lot of problems for people, pressures from many directions and then we came to the conclusion and we talked about it: first of all, you have to be thankful to the Creator for everything that happens. It’s very hard to accept even when you feel bad and you thank the Creator, you feel like He seemingly loves you but how do, you were asked today, too, how do you come to a state where out of trouble or plight when you feel bad, how do you thank the Creator, how can you feel good about that, what can you do?

R. We need to thank the Creator upon everything that there is, that’s it. You don’t have any understanding or any justification to what He is doing, nothing, what can you do?

S. In what way should I be thankful and how? 

R. Just to say thank you for everything you feel whether you feel them good or bad you have to take the bad as if it’s good. 

S. But I want to feel it within, no?

R. First say that and then you will feel it.

72. S. (02:17:45) In these two special days what exactly should we be sorry for and how?

R. These couple of days or one day, it’s the atmosphere that always comes before the 9th of Av and especially on the day itself. It’s the day that the egoistic vessels were created in our world, in all of humanity. And these vessels constantly press, meaning these desires constantly press on people to go to war, to go to issues, to go to all kinds of shatterings, That’s why these days we’re in, we lower our heads. We want to go through them quietly. So that’s it and that’s throughout history, thousands of years.

73. S. (02:19:25) In the ten such a question appeared, we heard more than once that spirituality is not connected to this physical world. Why then are there special days like today where everything is sharpened inside and out?

R. Also in our world although it’s not connected to spirituality but you’re right, we are a result of spirituality. That’s why according to that we also need to behave, according to the shattering, according to the distance, according to the evil inclination that was revealed in the world and so on. The 9th of Av a day, it’s a result of the Sitra Achra, the other side, the big ego that was revealed in reality.

74. S. (02:20:40) If it happens that that day is a wedding day, what do I do?

R. No, keep going, you’re not going to explain to all of your guests about the 9th of Av. How will they accept this, no. Keep going. We will correct it all. Don’t think about it, don’t tell it to anybody. Mazal Tov, all the best. 

Good luck to you all. Try and know one thing, the connection between us heals everything.

Part 2:

Baal HaSulam. Introduction to the Book Panim Meirot uMasbirot. #22

https://kabbalahmedia.info/sources/DrsQS1MO

Part 3:

Baal HaSulam. “Study of the Ten Sefirot” (TES). Vol. 1. Part 4. Chapter One. #7 (“Let us begin to clarify the existence of Akudim,”)